Tuesday, April 8, 2014

writing is being

I am writing because that it what I do best. And even if it isn't, then it is what I feel best, in times like these. This university term - running from mid Jan to mid April - has been unwieldy, unforgiving and without teleology. Yet there have been so many achievements that I want to list them, to give them some kind of place in time and space where they may otherwise go unnoticed - renounced before they are even marked or demarcated. Things can get lost in this field. I hereby plant them with the intent to nurture them some more. I am an intent person. Not bombastic, not conflictual, not strategic, not outwardly confident, not feisty or prickly but neither weak, a doormat, a giverupper. My confidence surfaces through my intent to succeed in being creative, hardworking, scholarly, reflexive, humbling, self-ridculing if it makes people laugh, empathetic, diplomatic, placid. There is nothing wrong with placid. There is everyone wrong with a world if it harboured 7 billion feisty people. There is a confidence that isn't corporate. It's one the the world of fiction rarely recognises either. It's an introverted confidence that doesn't sell, but it makes these things happen.

- finishing co-editing and writing several single and co-authored chapters in a book (to be published soon)
- undertaking primary (interview and archive based) and secondary research from scratch and writing and submitting to a journal a 12000 word article on the findings
- giving a conference paper in Amsterdam
- preparing an invited lecture series for Taiwan
- running a new MA course at short notice
- running two undergarduate courses
- marking and moderating essays, dissertations,
- preparing for and giving tutorials, lectures and seminars - the usual
- planning a co-curatorial project and putting in a funding bid for it
- peer reviewing journal articles
- designing new courses
- thinking about the co-editing of a special edition journal
- the other stuff that goes with jobs, like answering urgent emails on a Saturday morning and attending meetings

I made that happen. I intend to write myself upward and to be myself sideways and to stretch myself always. I will reach far away.