Thursday, December 29, 2011

a year in the life of someone or other

A poorly potato printed couple of doves. Peace-out, people.

The pile of unmarked essays is going down, along with the shortbread, which suggests the busiest season is coming to an end – university term one (with Christmas thrown in).I’ve been too snowed under for blog posts or even tweet sized candy twists of thought. And tomorrow there is Tenerife. So before swapping drizzle for daylight and port for Sangria, and prior to my return to the world of lecture theatres, bomber jackets and terminology, here is my personal summary of 2011’s remarkably interesting (and preferably superficial) personal (Sociologists would say 'micro') incidences (in sequential order). See if you can get to the end of the list without dozing off.

• Spontaneously going out for last orders on NYE to Sandbar, discovering a dancefloor and boogying through the early hours of the year.
• Chatting to actor Michael Riley on Skype, twice, about the meaning of life - and Being Erica.
• Taking up photography.
• Counting the minutes until my nose goes numb – from leaving the hotel – on holiday in Helsinki, at minus 20 degrees (and noticing my bottle of water has turned to ice).
• Connecting with all the characters on Black Books.
• Living in Suburbia.
• Sporting a Princess Ann bouffant for the night for a Royal Wedding party.
• Finding it is possible to feel drunk by default (when undergoing a period of abstinence).
• Taking up running and weightlifting!
• Watching Bernard Sumner talking up close. Finally.
• Discovering a certain ‘French Gothic.’
• Submitting a script to Neighbours.
• Being one of dozens photographing the aftermath of the Manchester riots.
• Roland Rat admiring my Dear David Cameron blogpost via a tweet.
• Launching a North Korean art exhibition (launching, perhaps, a bad choice of words).
• Doing sober karaoke in Blackpool.
• Playing ten pin bowling for the first time and winning.
• Discovering Air Hockey.
• Hearing that Kim Jong Il has died.
• Watching my ex PhD supervisor look around my office in my new job – which used to be his office in his old job.
• Watching CSS perform in a small library in Lancaster.
• Reading the bible (the book of Revelation for a course I’ll be teaching).
• Writing this list. And refusing to count the bullets.

Happy new year! (place emphasis on the 'new' and say it in a transatlantic acccent for added merriment)

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Northern County Soul

In keeping with a quiet promise I made to myself, here is a blogpost for this month, before it ends. It is a 'Movember' meddley of photos I took on my new smartphone of things I've seen on various little outings around the Northern counties of Cheshire, Lancashire and Staffordshire. It includes scenes from a local park, snippets of walks, a Whalley Range sunset, a firework display on Chorlton Green, the turning on of the Christmas lights by Manchester town hall, an Asia Triennial Manchester artwork inside Manchester cathedral (yes, it has one) - 'Drained' by Adeela Suleman, trees in various states of leaflessness and beyond, the general crispness of wintery contours and the Beetham tower from a new angle.

It is surprising that I did have time to see some stuff this month. I started a new job as a (permanent) lecturer in Contemporary Art History whilst working notice on my old job as an associate lecture in various, random faculties, thus continuing for a while the generic seven day weeker which had already become my life this autumn. This clash of the two jobs will end in a week. I will soon be working in just the one department. I now have focus. I also have no need to complain. At least not to the extent to which I have in previous blogposts (e.g. Dear Mr Cameron). However, this will not stop me picketing tomorrow, if not for the pensions, then for the cause of trade unionism - for the power of protest against the sometimes inperceptible persuasiveness of profit.

And then there is Christmas.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Curating the Everyday

Co-curating an exhibition of art addressing North Korean everyday life was both a fascinating and fastiduous task. It took more than a year from its initial ideation for us to install the exhibition at Madlab arts space. There are 3 days left until it closes, unfortunately, so I'm helping to spread the word whilst there's still time. The exhibition: 'Korea, Time and Generation' is part of Asia Triennial Manchester 2011 festival, although sometimes some of the smaller gallery spaces can get lost in the media coverage of the big event. Here is my blog article accompanying the exhibition, previously published on the madlab website:

HyoJung Seo‘s commissioned installation piece, Two Koreas by Words & Image Korea, Time, Generation and the EverydayKorea – Time, Generation and the Everyday: Contextualising the exhibition in relation to art in North Korea.

‘The formality of everyday practices is indicated in these tales, which frequently reverse the relationships of power and, like the stories of miracles, ensure the victory of the unfortunate in a fabulous, utopian space. This space protects the weapons of the weak against the reality of the established order. It also hides them from the social categories which “make history” because they dominate it.’[1]

‘We have read the propaganda, combining revolutionary fervour, the vocabulary of 30s potboilers and accounts of Kim’s visits to potato-starch factories…But who knew that… the mass performances are not only a tribute to the leadership and motherland, but the way that many young people find partners?’[2]

North Korea – the world’s most secret society and the last authentic vestige of Bolshevik Communism – contains individuals who are making art. Most of this art is in the form of state monitored socialist realist propaganda posters, containing references to the Socialist work ethic and the cult personalities of Kim Jong Il and Kim Il Sung. Some of North Korean art is in the form of oil paintings which tend to depict lush, floral landscapes and wild, jungle animals – neither of which can be found in the drought ridden terrain of North Korea. There are also some of those perhaps familiar looking East Asian style ink paintings of peonies and other blossoms accompanied by Chinese or Korean calligraphy down one corner. Whilst not all these artistic genres shout ‘long live Communism’ in tones of red from banners held by rosy cheeked, uniformed factory workers, they all share a nationalist sentiment of enforced pride. The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is different and seemingly proud to be so. But just how ‘different’ it really is, is somewhat unknown and continually questioned by its neighbouring countries, by its nuclear, polar opposites – such as the US, the UK and South Korea – and by human rights organisations worldwide. Arguably, it is impossible to address the notion of art and culture in North Korea without being shocked by it raw naivety or without being tempted to critique its intrinsic relationship to its strict political, totalitarian rule – now lead by Kim Jong-Un. However, there are other ways of thinking about culture in North Korea and they come from beyond the border.

Firstly, there are North Korean refugees who have escaped the regime and who are living in China, Russia, South Korea and other countries, depending on how far they migrate. Most of these migrants have changed their names so that the North Korean authorities cannot discover them – which could result in any remaining family back in DPRK being brutally punished and/or being sent to concentration camps. Whilst statements about the tribulations of living in North Korea are spoken anonymously to human rights agencies and charities such as Amnesty International or, more specifically, Helping Hands Korea, some migrants have chosen to express their experiences artistically. The pop artist who goes by the name of Sun Mu is unusual in that he doesn’t document his experiences of life in North Korea literally but he tends to parody them, using the same realist style propaganda which is applied to North Korean posters but in order to protest against the strict political ideologies. North Korean émigré artists do, however, tend to be rare. One reason for this is that if a former DPRK citizen wasn’t an artist when they lived there, why would they choose to take it up when escaping to foreign lands – particularly when earning a living may be top of their list? Also, and in relation to this, artists in training in North Korea tend to lead comparatively desirable lives. The main art studio – the state owned Mansudae art Studio in Pyongyang – trains its artists in how to produce hand painted propaganda posters using Socialist Realist style designs and the appropriate politicised emblems. Purportedly, this kind of labour is more satisfactory than most manual work in DPRK, whilst the artists tend to work under better working conditions as they are working to fulfil an important function in Communist society. Artists are perhaps the least likely citizens to try to escape from North Korea. However, there are some North Korean émigrés who do choose art to convey their memories once they are living outside of the country. Kang Chun Hyok’s corpus of illustrations depict everyday life in North Korea, from when he attended school and endured the banalities of everyday socialism, to the difficulties of escaping the North Korean borders by precariously crossing the Mekong River, to work illegally in China while fleeing unexpectedly from police and other arduous parts of his journey in the nearby countries of China, Thailand and Laos. Now, finally living in South Korea, Kang studies Fine Arts: Painting at Hongik University and reflects on his life as a North Korean while trying to fit into South Korean culture. Although the differences in political ideologies between the two Koreas are bound to emerge from Kang’s illustrations, his personal perspectives on his crowded, harrowing everyday experiences are what provide the audience with a fresh insight into North Korea, without the partisan prerogatives of macro organisations or policy making activities.

The exhibition endeavours to provide an alternative to the more typical international exhibitions of art from North Korea which contain samples of hand painted Communist propaganda posters. Arguably, the dealing by artists in, and the consumption of, posters created under an oppressive Communist regime in the capitalist nations of the UK and the USA – where they are popular with ‘pop art’ collectors – is both morally and politically troubling or, at least, ironic. Either way, the cultural and economic dynamics of North Korean communism was not something which 38 Degrees of Separations intended to broach. At least not directly or as a focal point. Politics matters – but the personal is political – and the concerns of refugees forms an important part of identity politics in the twenty first century.

Kang Chun Hyuk – pencil drawing.

‘On my birthday I didn’t have presents or songs. But to mark the occasion my mother cooked rice rather than maize porridge.’ – Kang Chun Hyuk, from This is Paradise.

Another way of thinking about art in North Korea is to consider the notion of Korea as temporarily divided and where both sides are still ‘Korea’. There are South Korean artists who may have never lived in North Korea but who are likely to have family or ancestors there and who have grown up with at least some of the same national characteristics, such as Hangul – the Korean language and basic traditions of cuisine, such as kimchi and bib bim bap. As against this, people living in South Korea, especially during the military coup, have been fed anti-communist propaganda about the North which may or may not be an exaggeration of the ways things really are there. In a sense, South Koreans have a view of North Korean culture which is both conflicted and harmonious. The official division of Korea in 1948, as decided by the USA and the USSR was supposed to be a temporary measure until political conflicts – and not just within Korea itself – had been resolved. The Korean war, between these two forces forged a cease fire in 1953 and the countries have since remained separate but it tends to be assumed (but not necessarily true) that they both harbour the deep rooted hope that they will again be unified. To people living in North Korea, they live in Korea; to people living in South Korea, they live in Korea, but it is a Korea which is temporarily divided. So, arguably, North Korean art and culture can just be deemed as Korean. With this in mind, the exhibition offers a South Korean artist’s perceptions of North Korean life, based on her knowledge of this other half of the nation in which she grew up.

Digital installation artist, HyoJung Seo, is part of what has become known as the 20/30 generation of Koreans who were born into a time when South Korea had established itself as a separate country, already being industrialised and modernised, hence losing its identity as an ‘under developed nation,’ which North Korea still holds. Another observation of this generation of 20 and 30 somethings is that they are not old enough to have experienced being separated from loved ones who are now living in North Korea. The degree to which younger generations are separated from North Korean life is ever growing. Yet, with time and generation comes both insight and myth – and Seo broaches the antagonism between the two with her installation which addresses the use of everyday words in the two sides of the country.‘

Guy Delisle, from 'Pyongyang.'

'Buried 90 metres underground, the Pyongyang subway station can double as a bomb shelter in case of nuclear attack. What better way to cultivate a constant state of threat? Marble floors, chandeliers, sculpted columns. It’s a subterrenean palace to the glory of public transit. Everywhere, garish murals transfigure a reality which just seems drab to me.’ – Guy Delisle, from Pyongyang.

Finally, there are some, but very few, people who have simply visited DPRK. Guy Delisle, the Quebec born illustrator/animator is one of them. Delisle was hired by the North Korean authorities to work on an animation project in Pyongyang for a short period. He was accompanied by a guard at all times and, here, in his illustrations documents these offbeat, humourous and shocking experiences which address vividly the minutiae of everyday objects, and behavioural patterns in North Korea – or what de Certeau may refer to as ‘tactics’(de Certeau distinguished between the everyday tactics of street and workplace subversion through which the powerless mock, evade or derail the strategies of capitalist elites – which could equally be applied to totalitarian state elites). Delisle develops his own tactics; seeing and being in DPRK culture first hand, responding to it as an outsider, inside.None of the pieces at the exhibition are examples of Communist propaganda art because as much as such visual culture is a part of everyday life in North Korea, the posters themselves would not be drawn from the hearts and minds of individuals who are considered as individuals by their own society. The curators of 38 Degrees of Separation wanted to show how the separate lives of North and South Koreans are managed, viewed and migrated or retold, in terms of the missed and micro dynamics of time and generation; how the practical becomes personal for everyday people.

For paintings from North Korea, including hand painted propaganda posters, oil landscape and ink drawing see

Blogpost on Sun Mu, including a biog and BBC video:

Further Reading
Cumings, Bruce (2004) North Korea: Another Country, The New Press, New York, USA.
Delisle, Guy, (2004) Pyongyang: A Journey in North Korea, Drawn & Quarterly, Montreal, Canada.
Demick, Barbara (2009) NOTHING TO ENVY: Ordinary Lives in North Korea, Spiegel & Grau, New York, USA.
Heather, D. & De Ceuster, K., (2008) North Korean Posters, Prestel Publishing Ltd, London, Munich, New York, USA.
Hyŏk Kang & Philippe Grangereau (2007) This Is Paradise!: My North Korean Childhood, Little Brown Book Group, London.
Lanʹkov, Andreĭ Nikolaevich (2007) North of the DMZ: essays on daily life in North Korea, McFarland & Company, Jefferson, MC, USA. M
artin, Bradley (2006) Under the Loving Care of the Fatherly Leader: North Korea and the Kim Dynasty, Griffin, St Martin’s Press, New York, USA.
Portal, Jane, (2005) Art Under Control in North Korea, Reaktion Books, London.DPRKCOOL [online] Mansudae arts studio, Beijing branchL

On human rights in North Korea conference:
[1] De Certeau, Michel (1988) The Practice of Everyday Life, Volume 1, University of California Press, CA, USA, p 23.
[2] Branigan, Tania, ‘The Cultural Life of North Korea’, The Guardian, Friday 15 October, 2010,

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Practice of Everyday Strife in North Korea

So busy at the moment - preparing for new courses I'll be teaching at uni, applying for permanent jobs and finishing co-curating the exhibition at Madlab which examines everyday life in North Korea / DPRK, that I've not had time to to blog posts. Does this press release count as one?

Here is an image which will be at the show which I had the pleasure of collecting from Guy himself at a cafe in Montpelier.

Press Release


38° of Separation: Korea, Time and Generation

Exhibition of North Korean art for Manchester’s second Asian Art Triennial
September 2011


Contact Hwa Young Jung -, 07506747456 or Beccy Kennedy -, 07736285192

Manchester Digital Laboratory (Madlab) is a community space for people who want to do and make interesting stuff - a place for geeks, artists, designers, illustrators, hackers, tinkerers, innovators and idle dreamers; an autonomous R&D laboratory, an exhibition space and a release valve for Manchester's creative communities. It is also a new edition to the consortium involved in Asia Triennial Manchester 2011 (ATM11), starting with its hosting of the trailblazer event, ‘Made in India’ in November 2010. Madlab now responds to the triennial’s Asian theme by introducing an exhibition about life in North Korea.

Co-curated by Hwa Young Jung, director and co-founder of Madlab and Dr Beccy Kennedy, visual studies lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, Madlab presents 3 artists’ responses to the topic of everyday life in North Korea, AKA the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, and sometimes the ‘Hermit Kingdom.’ The curators wanted to showcase work by artists which illustrate their micro considerations of the everyday in North Korean life, rather than just focusing on the more frequently addressed big issues of political deviation, poor human rights and nuclear armament. The curators ask: from the perspective of a North Korean citizen living in the nation, how do these elements of North Korean culture manifest themselves into their lived, personal everyday experiences and thought patterns? And how are such experiences perceived by outsiders to the nation? The exhibition title, 38° of Separation, alludes to the differences which have emerged between generations of the two Korean nations, North and South, which were formally divided along the 38th parallel in 1948. The 3 artists represent different perceptions of everyday life in North Korea from the viewpoints of a former North Korea citizen, a South Korean artist and a European illustrator and former visitor to North Korea.

Kang Chun Hyok is one of the first North Korean refugees to visually document his experiences of the closed country. His illustrations - ‘Stories only we have experienced’ - address the difficulties of living in North Korea, the intricacies of his escape and his subsequent émigré experiences as a North Korean living in South Korea.

HyoJung Seo produces digital, interactive installations. Here, in her commissioned piece entitled ‘Double Meaning: Two Koreas by word and image,’ she encourages the visitors to play a matching game using flash cards of simple words which demonstrate the similarities and differences between North Korean and South Korean attitudes to everyday concepts and objects.

Guy Delisle worked temporarily on an animation project in North Korea. He relayed his offbeat everyday experiences of living as a tourist in the capital - Pyongyang - in the form of a graphic novel: ‘Pyongyang: A Journey in North Korea.’ Here is the chance to see some of the original storyboards from Pyongyang.

In Manchester’s first exhibition of North Korean art, this is a rare opportunity to glimpse some insights into the everyday life of the usually ‘closed’ country.
The exhibition runs from 1 to 20 October, 2011. Come and meet Madlab.
Gallery opens Mon – Fri, 10 AM – 4 PM. Manchester Digital Laboratory, 36-40 Edge Street, Manchester M4 1HN (Between Thomas St and the Craft Centre, opposite A Bar Called Common). For more information about the organisation visit © 2009 Manchester Digital Laboratory. All Rights Reserved.

The UK's only Asian Art Triennial opens 1 October – 27 November 2011 in Manchester, showcasing exciting current contemporary visual art and craft from Asia. Initiated by Shisha, Asia Triennial Manchester 11 (ATM11) is a festival of visual culture featuring exhibitions, commissions and interventions by international and UK artists exploring the theme of Time and Generation, presenting new site-specific work alongside work not seen before in the UK, and challenging stereotypical viewpoints of contemporary Asian artistic practice.

Asia Triennial Manchester (ATM) is conceived by Shisha, the UK’s international agency for contemporary South Asian crafts and visual arts, in partnership with Bury Art Gallery, Castlefield Gallery, Chinese Arts Centre, Cornerhouse, Cube, The International 3, Jodrell Bank, John Rylands Library, MadLab, Manchester Art Gallery, Manchester Cathedral, Manchester Craft & Design Centre, Manchester Museum, Manchester Metropolitan University, People’s History Museum and The Whitworth Art Gallery. Visit


Friday, August 12, 2011

The free market

a worker cleaning up the Nike Store the day after the Manchester riots and looting

12 August 2011

Dear Mr Cameron

If you are listening...I now have a part-time, temporary administrative job which is very nice and it's marvellous to be out of the house, doing something constructive and mixing with colleagues. However, it only pays 6 pounds per hour with unpaid lunch and unpaid early close - as the business did twice this week due to people rioting. When I left university from doing my first degree, I got an admin job for 8 pounds per hour under Mr Tony Blair. I do this current post with other 21 year olds who have just left university or are about to enter their final year. I am old enough to be their mother - if I had gotten pregnant whilst still at school. But I didn't. It makes me wonder why I continued to pursue my aspirations and my education in terms of both academic and vocational qualifications.

I am still getting offered freelance work in writing and teaching but there is no holiday, lunch or sick pay and, actually, some of it is 'free' altogether; it's a good job I'm not claiming jobseekers allowance because they don't approve of voluntary work. Apparently it doesn't contribute towards the economy, despite the fact that it means that companies and organisations are getting free labour. I guess, in a way, it's part of that wonderful Thatcherite/Reaganite invention called the free market. Just look at today’s stocks and shares; investors are allowed to 'sell short' assets and reap the profits whilst I work long hours with no pay - and certainly no protection - and I am not even given the chance to comprehend what a pay cheque is let alone an asset. Last year my sister had intensive treatment for cancer and not only did her organisation not provide sickness pay for the duration of her illness but she wasn't even granted sickness benefit by (your) government until it was time for her to go back to work. Meanwhile, people I know in private organisations are given free private health care inclusive of spa treatments. Yes, the thing with markets is they're unpredictable; full of surprises.

Incidentally, your predecessor, Thatcher, also deregulated the media (as well as the market) to enable profit in the hands of a powerful few to always take precedence over the protection of the public many. You may have noticed some of the consequences of this in the news recently.

Also, I did once involve myself in a capitalist venture. I got a mortgage on a flat. However, I cannot afford to live in it any more, due to the recession, low paid jobs - if any- and the fact that I am not entitled to benefits in relation to it. I now rent it out to tenants and I'm still in monthly deficit. Oh well, living back with my parents in suburbia, at least I get to experience some of the glorious middle aged, Middle England where people who have far less education or expectations than myself have experienced professional careers, followed by company cars and nifty pension packages. But then they boomed in an era which was pre free market economic policy and where cultural and class mobility was possible, or even perceivable.

Ciao for now,

Dr Beccy Kennedy

This post is an update on the previous post ‘Being a Jobseeker,’ – which a few friends told me they enjoyed reading -copied below.

It’s been nearly two years since I handed in my PhD and began applying for jobs out there. I had some hopes to find employment teaching in further or higher education, particularly the former, which I spent six years doing before I began my doctoral scholarship and after I did my teacher training course. Even when I was thinking most pessimistically, at the time of finishing the PhD in summer 2009, I didn’t consider I would still be out of work two years into the future. Then there was the recession. I continued applying for jobs. Then there was the election of the Tory government.

Dear Mr Cameron, it would be wonderful if you would one day came across this blog and read it, as something tells me you are a little out of touch with the way things are in terms of employment ‘opportunities’ in this country – that is out of touch with those people who were not private school, Oxbridge educated and jobsfortheboysed into a comfortable private sector position. Conversely, you are also out of touch with very well but not Oxbridge educated adults who, when willing, are refused employment in unskilled workplaces due to their over-qualified status (please see below). Some of these adults would love to work for minimum wage in blue collar jobs because the begrudgingly given £65 per week job seekers allowance does not cover the bills, let alone living costs.

I am lucky. I mean I am lucky in some ways, those being that I was paid to do my doctorate and I have been given the opportunity to lecture on a freelance or ‘associate,’ sometimes ‘visiting’ lecturer basis at MMU and Chester Uni at certain points over the last three years. However, what this means is that I am given contracts which are three months long maximum to cover each term time, with no guarantee of renewal for the following term. It also means there is no pay over the Christmas period (when you have 150 essays to mark) and that when lectures and seminars finish at the end of March, there is no pay for the foreseeable months. It also means that if you take into account preparation time, designing course materials, attending meetings, marking, second marking, filling in marks and registers and responding to emails from students, lecturers and course leaders, the hourly rate of pay works out about £2 per hour. It’s fairly unsatisfying/unsatisfactory also when you consider that permanently employed lecturers are on an annual salary at least four times higher. So – whilst I’ve been lecturing and enjoying lecturing, I’ve also been applying for jobs which offer a more permanent contract.

I’ve applied for a range of high skilled, mid-skilled and unskilled job types. The first category is typically jobs for which I can put my experience and qualifications to good use. The second category I see as administrative – again, I have experience and qualifications which can be used in admin positions but they don’t really require a PhD. The last category is the one which is supposed to always demand workers and for which little skill is needed – which is why teenagers often do them. My thinking was that I need any job whilst I’m looking for the job, so I applied for all. The following is a list of the jobs for which I’ve applied via formal application (not just handing in a CV to places regardless or asking people I know – which I’ve also done). I got one interview and 90% of the workplaces didn't respond in any way.

I feel the need to make a list of these applications because I believe that the role of the job seeker is a job in itself. I also find it wearing when people ask me whether I have applied here or there, tried this or that, etc, as if I never do any of it (it would be easier to say – my job is this, this is what I do). I did a course on how to fill in an application form and a CV when I was on jobseeker’s allowance last summer. I know how to fill in an application form. I know how to write a CV to fit a variety of positions. I know what goes in a covering letter. I know that employers are supposed to interview you ‘by law’ if you fulfil all the essential criteria on the personal specification. I know that in order to prove you can satisfy these criteria you need to apply the STAR system: give the Situation, the Task, the Achievement and the Result of the example. I know you can’t say, ‘I can keep to tight deadlines and organise my workload effectively,’ following it with just a full stop. I know that you shouldn’t write too much or too little and that it helps if you refer to each criterion clearly. I also know that if 300 people apply for a job and 200 of those people fulfil all the essential criteria, 200 people will not be interviewed.

It feels cathartic, refreshing to get my list of job applications onto paper/screen. Perhaps it’s some kind of naming and shaming. Or, more positively, it’s my acknowledgement to myself of all those hours I have given to job seeking, alongside my freelancing and volunteering. In a way, I have worked in all these places for a few days at a time – at least in my head.

Some job applications with various additional comments
• A level Sociology Lecturer at a college in Essex – it wasn’t the only way
• A Level Sociology Lecturer at MANCAT
• Administrator at MMU X 2
• Cafe Nero barista X 3 – as a coffee addict this could come in useful
• Clarks Shop assistant – I would save money on my Originals
• Co-operative bank researcher – I had an informal interview where I was told that it is a little late on in life to be changing careers from the public to the business sector when I had no experience of the latter.
• Co-operative shop assistant X 2 – at least it’s ethical, as businesses go
• Edinburgh School of Art Contextual Studies lecturer
• Marks and Spencer shop assistant –fits my granny chic
• McDonalds crew – what could be more fun than working in a brightly coloured environment serving happy meals? I didn't make the next stage of the application process for serving burgers. I did lie and pretend I had no MA or PhD. Maybe the BA put them off?
• Mobile phone seller in Tescos - I have a mobile phone. I've had one for years.
• Monsoon shop assistant – discount off my jinglyjanglies
• Nottingham University Art History Lecturer
• Oddbins trainee shop assistant – it would double up as a wine tasting evening course
• Open University Associate lecturer
• Paperchase shop assistant one afternoon a week – they said received a very high level of applications.
• Part time administrator at Shisha arts agency
• Permanent Lecturer posts at MMU X 2
• Quality Assurance administrator – I had done this before in another workplace
• Recruitment Consultant at a Manchester job agency X 2
• Research assistant at LGF
• Researcher position at an NGO
• Ryman’s shop assistant – I could use my experience of communicating with students
• Skills for Life Manager at a college in Sunderland – I had training in Skills for Life teaching
• Starbucks barista – they said they receive 100 CVs a day
• Subway server X 2 – I may not have worked in a subway before but I know how to make a sandwich – I’ve done it quite often.
• Ulster University Lecturer in Academic Methods – because no one wants to work in Northern Ireland, right?
• Waterstones shop assistant – the classic student’s/academic’s pocket money job

Current plan of action: To pretend to be Polish so that I can get a cleaning job or other blue collar position. Or to emigrate to Korea.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Splicing the Vice: Three Months into my Health Regime

The 2nd of August 2011 marked three months of my fitness regime (regime being closely related to the word regimented which isn’t necessarily a bad thing) which is, hopefully, also a permanent lifestyle change. So, here’s why I did it, what I’ve done and the results of doing it. It may be of use to someone who wants to make healthy changes without going on a diet because, let’s face it, diets are faulty (more of that later.)


When I lived in London

I was three stone lighter. I may have been in my twenties but I also made healthier choices. I cycled to work and back – a ten mile round trip – I sometimes swam at the work swimming pool before the working day started too, or after the working day had ended. In a way, it was convenient that I lived far enough away from work to get in a good, sweaty bike ride but not so far that it knackered me out. I was also lucky to have a free pool at work. Additionally, I hardly ever drank. I would have a few glasses of wine, perhaps once a fortnight. I was too busy doing stuff like going to the theatre. Or cycling places, sober. I ate what I wanted but I was a pescetarian. And I didn’t get regular ‘hangover hungry.’

When I moved to Manchester

I put on three stone and entered my thirties. I also moved to the city centre, so getting to work was a ten minute leisurely walk not a half hour furious cycle. I may have been swimming twice a week but, being less fit altogether then, I went slowly and probably burnt fewer calories. I thought becoming rotund was part of the midi-age deal. Only, I was (and still am )33. My family were starting to comment on my appearance. “Are you keeping up with your swimming, dear?” “How much have you been drinking lately?” Well, I had been drinking more since moving to Manchester. I could blame it on the boozey culture in the city centre but, actually, most of my friends are light drinkers these days and I seemed to have to seek out the good time guys, more and more. Alcohol does cause sufficient weight gain, as well as bloating – particularly in the face. My eyes were starting to disappear behind a bruiserish brow, my chins were multiplying and I was getting the kind of beer belly I associate with men who play darts to escape their wives. The thing with alcohol is not just the extra calories – like 800 per bottle of wine – but also the fact that the body converts it into the chemical acetate, which is notoriously difficult to burn off. Once the body is trying to metabolise acetate, it puts everything else on hold, so any fat you may have consumed in the day through eating will simply get stored. There is also the associated drink related eating: peeling open foil bumper bags of kettle chips to put on the pub table for sharing. We could get through a few of these throughout the night. This would possibly be followed by a casual kebab or pizza to take home to consume before bed. Even worse, the next day, the hangover hungry would require a fry up or more cheesy stodge based products, something sugary, topped off with a few hairs of the dog. The following day bar one, my stomach seemed to have expanded so the hangover treats could subside into the following week. Oh, and I never really craved a jog or a long walk the day of a hangover. Sometimes hanging out the washing seemed to take up my last dregs of damaged energy.



I wore my stretchy brown polka dot dress to my niece’s 3rd birthday party in May and my brother snapped me when he was playing with my new camera. I was utterly shocked when I found the photos. I looked five months pregnant, had two chins too many and little dots where my eyes should be. More than this, my brother also sat me down with concern on his face and asked me if I wanted to join him on his cycling regime; he was training to cycle from Manchester to Lourdes in eight days to raise money for charity. I said I’d try but I fancied taking up running; it’s cheap and I’d found in the past that it helps work out frustrations. I was between jobs and my brother pointed out that I may as well get focused on getting fit – and toned as he put it - as it is an opportunity which isn’t so readily available to full time workers. It was a polite way of telling me I really needed to tackle my lifestyle choices and subsequent weight gain.

Here is where you won’t find a photo of me wearing my polka dot ‘maternity’ dress.

Choice of health regime

– not diets

So, like most gals, unfortunately, I have been on diets of various kinds throughout my life, with the most successful being those which simply encourage general calorie control – although sometimes calories are called ‘points’. I was fairly slim as a teen but when I got into drinking and had a spot of glandular fever, I seemed to start the struggle with weight. I fluctuated within the realms of about a two stone surplus throughout my twenties but it seemed to stabilise at a good weight for me in my mid to late twenties – before I moved to Manchester and piled on the pounds, as they say. The last diet I went on aged 31 I had lost some weight but at a much slower pace than I had previously, even though it was the same diet. I gave up when I got some bad family news which seemed to make my calorie counting look trivial and egocentric. Since this last attempt at dieting, I got fatter than ever. The thing with diets is they only work as a temporary measure. You’re fat, you go on a diet and lose weight, you stop the diet, you get fat again. Simples. Additionally, the more you diet over the years, the more often you starve your body of calories so the more often your metabolism slows as the body goes into starvation mode. I guess this has a knock on effect so that the metabolism just keeps getting slower the more you diet. And, importantly, when you lose weight you tend to lose muscle mass. Muscles use a lot of energy, which is one reason why men are allowed more calories per day to maintain their overall weight. The more muscle you have, the more you burn calories. By yo yo dieting over the years, it’s likely your muscles are declining, along with your resting metabolic rate.

Diets weren’t an option. I just needed to address what was really making me fat in terms of what I was consuming regularly. Did I have an Achilles’ heel? I certainly did. There were things which I was eating which were not necessary food items, providing no nutrition. These were, simply:

Alcoholic drinks (mainly wine) and Desserts/ sweet snacks (cake, biscuits, chocolate, but mainly cake).

I was also consuming a lot of apple juice which I’ve now replaced with water and a squeeze of lemon for the vitamin C, although this is quite a minor change. So I made the decision to cut out all alcohol – which my brother had totalled up for me to about a shocking 3,500 calories a week, and all desserts, which added on about the same again (the average dessert is about 500 calories), amounting to 7000 unnecessary calories a week. If I really feel I need it, I now eat dried fruit or just fruit for a sweet fix but, the main thing for me was to endeavour to untrain my ‘sweet tooth’.

- Carry on as usual. Eat food because it fills you up and provides nutrition.

So I cut out alcohol and I cut out sweet things. I’ve kept everything else the same. I still eat chips and pizza and crisps when I want to (and I would still eat burgers, steak and chorizo if I hadn’t have become a Pescetarian again earlier this year – for ethical reasons). I’ve never eaten these things every day so I don’t see why I should go to the extreme of giving them up. I have always eaten vegetables and fruit, cooked with olive oil and opted for wholemeal rice/bread/pasta as much as possible (and it isn’t really always possible without becoming a sociopathic food bore.) So I’m not ‘on a diet’ that I can’t maintain. At least I hope not. I hope I can keep alcohol and desserts at bay forever, although when I’ve got to a good shape I might integrate desserts back as a weekly treat and see if I can maintain the same weight. However, as it is, I don’t feel I am depriving myself of anything. I’ve got used to not having desserts or sweet snacks and I no longer really see the point of getting drunk. I don’t let myself go hungry and I can still eat out and continue to eat everything (as a pescetarian would) - except I decline on the desserts, which is acceptable behaviour, really.

- Don’t carry on as usual. Run for it.

Exercise is a different ball game (sorry!) So I used to swim maybe twice a week but it wasn’t doing much, so I decided to rev things up a bit. I decided to start running. It’s different to walking because every time your feet hit the ground, they take three times your body weight because the force is higher. That’s why slow jogging seems harder than power walking. At first, I decided to run twice a week and swim or cycle once as well but after a few weeks, I thought, why not exercise every day or for five out of seven, even if only for half an hour each time? I seem to fit it in most week days, even if it means going out for a run at half ten at night. In fact, being a night owl, I have more energy and can go further at that time. And it’s cooler (temperature wise). My new fitness regime involves running three times a week, and then trying to do two other types of exercise which work me into a sweat, such as a 40 minute swim, a 40+ min bike ride or an all afternoon hike somewhere hilly (see ‘countryside’).

- Give yourself a lift.

I took up weight training, thanks to my friend and former flatmate who’s a wrestler and who has lent me her weights and given me some tips. I tend to do this every other night and especially on days when I don’t get in any aerobic exercise. I find that it seems to increase my appetite more than cardiovascular exercise does, which makes sense, if building muscle takes a lot of energy. I do medium weights (which for me is currently 5 kilos but has gone up from 3). I do seven reps in three sets per exercise, including bicep curls and various tricep strengthening exercises. Some people say that to tone up, you need to do more reps on a lighter weight otherwise you get bulky but I’ve read that doing medium weights/reps has a similar toning effect to light weights with more reps. However, do less than six reps on a weight where you can’t do any more and it’s possible you could end up looking like a gladiator.


Now is sooner than you think

So the results of my reduced calorific intake and my new fitness regime so far? I’m going to list them just because there is enough of them to form a list.

- I am fitter. It takes less to get me out of breath. I no longer feel a sense of dread spread over me when a friend suggests we go for a walk. I can run twenty times further than I could when I started. However, I was virtually lame when I began, but it’s still nice to start finding yourself getting a bit further along the track or chosen circuit without resorting to walking. Walking becomes awfully tedious. I also find myself jogging up the stairs sometimes. I can cycle five or ten miles without worrying I can’t take the distance. When I first got on the bike after several years off it, I could only go about a mile before panting and developing serious groin pain afterwards. It’s convenient to be able to get to places more quickly and without relying on transport.

- I look better according to friends and family. Compliments include: my eyes look bigger, my jaw is more defined, my skin looks clear and fresh, my hair is silkier, I have got my waistline back (although there’s more where that came from), I look thinner, my thighs are trimmer, my thighs are firm to touch, my calves are more shapely, my stomach has ‘gone down,’ my shoulders are more defined, I look really well. This was all very nice to hear.

- My clothes are looser, including, trousers, cardigans and jackets. I decided not to weigh myself this time. Mainly, because I’m not on a diet where I’m monitoring my weight and aiming to get to a certain lightness before I finish the diet and resume with normal eating (see above). Also, because weight on the scales is not reliable if you’re exercising a lot and building muscle. It took about a month before my jeans felt not as snug and it took another month on from that before I would start to say they felt loose. However, even after one week of the new regime, I could see some of the puffy flab starting to evaporate from my face – which was reassuring.

- I can feel bones which I had forgotten were there. They may not be visible to other people but I can tell through touch that there’s less flab around them. In particular, my collar bone and ribs and hip bones when I lie down.

- I’ve dropped nearly two dress sizes, from an 18 to a 14 (depending) so I can fit into old favourite clothes. I’m aiming to get to a 12 – which is a pretty good size on my sturdy frame.

- Confidence - I no longer feel like the fat person. I think to myself, yeah, I don’t look too bad. I should be able to attract people. I’m not slim but I don’t feel like I stick out so glaringly when around thin friends, or that I’m expected to be the bubbly one because that’s all I have to offer. I didn’t consciously realise how much being fat was affecting me in my work and love life until I got into better shape.

- My mood and appetite is more even since giving up alcohol and sugar. I’ve already mentioned that I don’t get hangover hungry any more, or the desire to keep one hand to the crisp packet whilst drinking (soda water doesn’t seem to warrant that as much as wine/beer). I used to get hungry in the afternoon and crave sugar. After about a week of giving up sugary foods (I still sometimes have a bit of accidental sugar or the odd scone – which isn’t as sugary as sponge), my withdrawal symptoms, which included irritability and cravings, subsided. Surprisingly, so did my appetite. I think I used to get confused between hunger and sugar addiction replenishment. I am now more aware of when I actually am hungry, rather than when I crave a sugar or refined carb fix. I have found myself waiting until I am truly hungry, before considering eating. It’s not even a conscious thing; it just seems to be what I do naturally these days. Similarly, if someone puts a big plate of food in front of me and I’m not hungry enough to eat it all, I will just eat enough to fill me. I always found sugar comforting so I guess by eliminating my comfort food (and drinks), I’ve eradicated my comfort eating too. I don’t get hypoglycaemia any more; I used to frequently get the shakes when my sugar was low. I’m not diabetic but since I was about eleven I’ve been getting these hypoglycaemic fits. But then I’ve always had a sweet tooth. When I get low blood sugar, it can affect my mood a little. And when I’m craving sugar, I would feel tired and groggy and sometimes irritable. So now I feel more even, or even wholesome.

- I don’t have to worry about whether I made a fool of myself the night before in person or on twitter when I had consumed a few drinks too many. I can also judge when is a good time to go home from the pub, e.g. when everyone is so bladdered they keep repeating themselves, staring fruitlessly into the equidistance and forgetting to swallow.

- I have more money. Actually, I don’t. But I definitely would have if I had been earning money during this period. Soda water is usually free and diet coke tends to be pretty cheap, especially if it’s the pub - on tap - stuff.

- I have more time. It’s the time I formerly dedicated to hangovers. I seem to spend more time walking in the countryside. This is a wholesome thing to do and has had a knock on effect on my overall lifestyle and psyche.


I hope to continue with my fitness regime and the no alcohol/desserts thing, and then when I feel I’ve got into a shape with which I’m happy, I might integrate treats. I love exercise because it makes me feel so alive – which sounds ridiculously trite - but then it does make the body release endorphins. I look forward to running at the end of the day, clearing my head, sweating out the adrenalin then feeling calmer and fulfilled afterwards. I don’t desire alcohol any more. If I think about it, it doesn’t really work to make me feel better, just groggier and less able to do things. Alcohol is, at best, escapism and at worst, self destruction. Exercise is my new vice but I don’t use it to blot out life, I do it to enhance what I have in life.

Tips Okay, so I know I’m not a pro or a size zero but I decided to write this post to mark my three month health regime anniversary, and if it helps anyone else in any way, then all the better. Here’s some tidbits for healthy weight loss I’ve learnt from being an adult serial dieter, a fitness newcomer, from doing general internet based research over the years and through my own experience.

- Reduce alcohol intake because it adds calories and makes it harder to burn off fat. Period.
- Reduce sugar because it adds calories and increases cravings for more sugar and refined carbs.
- Do weight training – particularly if you have been a serial dieter because your muscle mass will have declined over the years – it boosts your metabolism as well as toning your body and making you stronger.
- Opt for intensive cardio workout like running, spinning, zumba or fast swimming and cycling. The latter two are good if you have weak joints or arthritis because they are not weight bearing. Keep going until you can go no more as this will burn more calories and help you to improve. Each time you exercise, try to up it a little bit.
- Go walking but don’t include it as a workout. See it as a relaxing extra – unless it’s an all dayer.
- If you’re a runner and you’re feeling under the weather, or just starting out, then make yourself go for a walk but put on your running shoes. Once you’re walking you may find the energy to run parts of the walk anyway.
- Acknowledge your vice then cut it out. If you can learn to not consume the things which are high in calories and which you don’t need nutritionally, then you don’t need to go on a diet and cut everything down and become thoroughly miserable and anti-social. Work out what you’re eating daily which is adding 300 plus calories to your day, then stop eating it, forever.
- Don’t replace the high calorie foods/drinks with similarly high calorie stuff. If you cut out alcohol then replace it with soda water or diet cola (although this has other health issues attached to it), rather than fruit juice – which has a similar calorific content to alcohol. I cut out desserts. I have replaced it with fruit but only if I get hungry. Although fruit has calories, one piece is still significantly less than a piece of cake and a biscuit. I wouldn’t have a big fruit salad with six chopped up pieces of fruit in it as one dessert.
- Eat at least five fruit and veg a day. As well as endless nutritional benefits, they are a source of fibre and can help to keep you regular, e.g. lighter.
- Don’t weigh yourself. It can be inaccurate, counter productive, make you miserable, and it suggests that your changes are temporary. It’s better to have a goal in the form of an expensive item of clothing in mind – which you want to fit into permanently. Mine is a fitted, leather bomber jacket (the plan is to get one some time in autumn but who knows).
- Do exercise which you enjoy – or at least bear - and which you can realistically fit into your lifestyle. Don’t listen to other people if you’re happy with your own regime and progress.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Only a Tick-Tock Away: the use of clocks in Neighbours

Clock props are useful development devices for particularly pressing plotlines in soap operas. They orient temporal awareness and signify danger, but just how striking is their symbolism?

Last week on Neighbours UK there was a radical real-time episode focusing on Detective Mark Brennan’s untimely yet ‘timed’ departure as he fled from police force harassment into the arms of a witness protection scheme. There was a race against the clock impetus to the episode as ex-girlfriend-cum-girlfriend and guardian, Kate, had to first decide and then persuade her unimpressed little sister, Sophie, to join Brennan with her in time for his on the dot car pick-up. Although each scene will have taken significantly longer to produce, each minute of acting we see on the screen works out as the same minute of storyline which the characters are experiencing. The Tension was assembled via the use of darkness (Ramsey Street is usually eternally light); rain (which was actually real and unplanned in the filming but Ramsey Street is usually eternally sunny); unnecessary but realistic routine hiccups such as Lou fussing over dessert choices, Jade losing her shampoo and Sophie slipping in a puddle; ticking clocks galore and the convincing acting of anguished emotions – particularly by Ashleigh Brewer, who plays Kate. She misses the drive away deadline by seconds, before discernibly displaying her onslaught of distress at her inopportune loss. In the following episode, Kate’s grief and frustration is acted with subtlety and impressive believability. Brennan tended to be both banal and anal as a character (although apparently popular eye candy with female viewers), yet this didn’t seem to matter by the time we are sucked into Kate’s agony over his absence.

Kate finally says she loves Brennan but to her little sister, not to him.

Kate and Brennan screenshots: split tensions, ‘fade-in’ dreams (see what I did there?)

Yesterday, clocks and watches (the watch - a delectable Diesel one, in fact) were used again for Lucas’s storyline involving his Dad’s death and his reluctant anxiety around whether to attend the funeral of the parent he says referred to him as someone who has ‘always stuffed up’. It is revealed to the audience through a conversation Paul has with Lucas that the funeral is at one o’clock. There is then a pre-funeral garage montage with Lucas doing things which car mechanics do*, perhaps mechanically (like clockwork?), to a sultry sound track, tense eyebrow lowers and cuts to the garage clock as time ticks by. There is even a split scene tri-screen of: the wall clock, Lucas’s funeral suit and Lucas looking vexed. Yet the episode wasn’t in real-time, minute by minute, because we see sporadic shots of the big hand of the clock beat through morning and early afternoon. Also, conversely, the clock shots don’t work to invoke the pressure of a lack of available time in the given situation. Lucas has time to get to the funeral parlour; the question is whether he wants to and what it might mean to him if he does or if he doesn’t.

I've an eye for a retro, square faced watch (evidently - to the point where I can be bothered to screenshot it)

In this sense, the clock signifies a less immediate kind of tension - the long term trauma and effects of being inadequately parented. Each time Lucas looks at the clock and, actor, Scott Major, conveys plausible torment and convincing depths of indecisiveness through watery eyes, our attention is drawn to the concept of time passing, of how it manifests itself, of imminent mortality and of how to use the time we have to the best of our abilities and sensibilities. Yes, it’s deep stuff for a daytime drama, but then you can never take the opera out of soap opera.

Time for Lucas to smarten up?

Whilst the real-time Neighbours episode was niftily executed and presented, the utilisation of clocks was more necessary than it was nuanced. In this more recent episode, the clocks seem to work to symbolise a character’s misspent life span. Lucas is damaged goods, really.** Unlike Kate, and since buddy Brennan disappeared without warning, he doesn’t seem to have anyone to whom he can turn. In this episode, the clocks, along with Paul’s mention of Lucas’s unrequitedly estranged ex, Elle, have re-anchored the viewer’s attention on this factor. The clock prop points to Lucas's past and present experiences and decisions, but, in its doing so, we are inadvertently forced to consider how his future may pan out in following episodes. I’ll keep watch.***

*it looks quite fun. Time to give up my day job and re-train??
**which is why he’s more interesting than Brennan
***but not the Diesel one.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Camping in Hathersage

There was a little bit of most things at their English bestest when camping in Derbyshire this weekend. Being of mixed Celtic/European descent and not really into gang mentality I'm not patriotic. However, there're elements of the English countryside, culture and cuisine for which I have a soft spot. This little getaway tended to involve them. Hathersage is a multifarious little place! We went by car - there is also a train station - to the North Lees campsite, which was in a picturesque little spot, although offered a disproportionately large number of midgies and required lights to be out by ten. It's just up the road from North Lees Hall, an Elizabethan tower house, which inspired Charlotte Bronte's Thornfield Hall in Jane Eyre. Hike higher into the hills and stumble upon (but hopefully not over) Stanage Edge which is popular with climbers, Robin Hood and film directors (see Pride and Prejudice motion picture, 2005 - the Keira Knightley one), wild flowers, long haired sheep, ferns, crooked tree trunks, paving stones, purple heather and, errr, lizards. In the town there's a heated lido (which sometimes hosts nobbly knees contests), people driving vintage cars (a Lotus but didn't get the rest), a gastro pub and cream tea houses galore.