Thursday, June 3, 2010

Jobseeking and Sobjerking

I'm making use of this red oblong which will not leave my blog space

I applied for two and a half jobs yesterday. The first two were lectureship roles which require me to be an established, published academic writer. I don't fulfill that essential criterion but I thought I'd apply anyway so that I feel like I'm at least making the effort, making the effort of going through the motions. Keeping up appearances. Post-Phd, I wonder on a daily basis what the point of doing a PhD was. I got a lot out of it in some ways - another story - but in terms of it being a stepping stone to a job, it has failed on every account. There are now no stepping stones left and I can't get to the bankside where I used to live. I'm over qualified to get a job selling mobile phones in Tesco's (and all the other retail posts I've applied for) but I'm under experienced to become an academic professional - which is the only place a PhD goes in job terms. Then there's the middle ground jobs - administrative officers and the like. At it was one of those which I half applied for yesterday. There was twenty essential criterion which I had to justify. I got through about four, using the STAR system: Situation, Task, Action, Result, which I was recently told was a must by a perky, professional recruitment adviser. After the fourth paragraph, where I described how I am a proactive team instigator, my eyes began to sting unexpectantly. I don't want this job and I probably won't get it and I just want to write my novel. I want to write a story.

I thought that I was doing well as a jobseeking novel writer who sits in the sun at two in the afternoon if I like, who goes for a pensive swim after lying in. But I do have to job seek too. And I also have to answer questions every time I see someone. It's almost worth never seeing anyone so that I don't have to answer the questions and describe the jobs which I'm applying for which I don't want and won't get. I want to talk about my novel. 

Today, I'm still trying not to cry. It's working so far. I must keep creating sentences and take comfort in watching them unravel onto the screen. I've got to go and write. My protagonists are getting bored.

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