Monday, June 14, 2010

I'm trying to make trying allowed: an anti-academic poem

I wrote this in the first few years of my PhD, when I was angry with reading post-structuralist texts. Hmm, not sure it works.

I’m trying to make trying allowed

I’m acting. I’m acting because I’m sick of speculating.
Acting’s been replaced by structures, then post-structures
There’s no such thing as activating
or making a fuss
about the confiscating
of our ability to be able.

I’m feeling. I’m feeling because I’m tired of theorising.
But feeling’s been replaced by symbolic interaction
which there’s no point despising
because that’s forming a faction
of the symbolic satisfaction
of which we have no control.

I’m angry. I’m angry because anger doesn’t exist.
But anger’s been replaced by the discourse of discourse.
It’s a relative fist.
It’s divorced from our thoughts
which are always missed.
They’re only materialised through their retroaction.

I’m laughing. I’m laughing because otherwise I’d be crying.
But laughing’s been replaced by irony and pastiche
and everything’s a referred text
Except dying
which is outside of the niche
of niche-ness.

I’m writing a poem. I’m writing because I think I’m creating
but creating’s been replaced by copying
and fabricating
and stopping
the flow, which is really just pontificating
and isn’t really driven.

I’m fucking. I’m fucking because it makes me feel like I’m here.
but fucking hasn’t been replaced by anything.
Is that clear?
Or is clarity a disparity
Or is it a fear
of accepting that we’re animals, with a conscience?

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